\documentclass[a4paper,11pt]{book}  

\usepackage{wordbk}

\usepackage{isolatin1}
\usepackage{a4}

% Add top and bottom to the pages
\usepackage{fancyheadings}
\pagestyle{fancy}

\newcommand{\RelDate}{3 November 2001}
\newcommand{\RevDate}{\today}

\title{Petter's\\
        Computer Science\\
        Songbook}
\author{Petter Reinholdtsen}
\date{Revised:  \RevDate}

%  \makeindex

\makeTitleIndex         %% Title and First Line Index.
\makeTitleContents      %% Table of Contents.
\makeKeyIndex           %% Index of song by key.

\begin{document}

\maketitle

% This did not work as expected...
% \tableofcontents

{ % Should restore definition of \item after this block
        \section*{Contents}
        \renewcommand{\item}{\par\hangindent=40pt}
        \input{toc}
}

\newpage

\section*{Introduction}

This songbook is a collection of songs related to computers, computer
science and the Internet, which I've collected during the last few
years.  I've tried to collect the songs I would like to be singing
when I meet my fellow computer professionals.

Most of them have appeared on some USENET newsgroup, but the exact
source have been lost in the mist of time.

Lots of songs where found at {\tt http://www.poppyfields.net/filks/}
and {\tt http://www.netspace.org/\~{}dmacks/internet-songbook/}.

Please contact me if you have comments, questions, suggestions or
information on who wrote one of the songs.

The latest version of this songbook is available from
{\tt http://www.hungry.com/\~{}pere/cs-songbook/}.

Petter Reinholdtsen - $<$pere@hungry.com$>$

\section*{Acknowledgement}

Thanks to Ole Aamot, Morten A. Middelthon, Stein Vraale, Jørgen
Wahlberg and Mari Wang for helping me finding songs.

The songbook is typeset using LaTeX and the Songbook LaTeX style
available from {\tt http://www.rath.ca/Misc/Songbook/}.

  \mainmatter
  \ifWordBk
    \twocolumn
  \fi

\section*{Programming}

% Added 2001 by Ole Aamot
  \begin{song}
        {Write in C}{Unknown}
        {Unknown}
        {Music: ``Let it Be'', The Beatles}
        {}

        \begin{SBVerse}
        When I find my code in tons of trouble,

        Friends and colleagues come to me,

        Speaking words of wisdom:

        ``Write in C.''
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
        As the deadline fast approaches,

        And bugs are all that I can see,

        Somewhere, someone whispers

        ``Write in C.''
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}                                      
        Write in C, write in C,

        Write in C, write in C.

        LISP is dead and buried,

        Write in C.
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
        I used to write a lot of FORTRAN,

        for science it worked flawlessly.

        Try using it for graphics!

        Write in C.
        \end{SBVerse}
                                      
        \begin{SBVerse}
        If you've just spent nearly 30 hours

        Debugging some assembly,

        Soon you will be glad to

        Write in C.
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}                                      
        Write in C, write in C,

        Write In C, yeah, write in C.

        Only wimps use BASIC.

        Write in C.
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}                                      
        Write in C, write in C,

        Write in C, oh, write in C.

        Pascal won't quite cut it.

        Write in C.
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}                                      
        {\em Guitar Solo}
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}                                      
        Write in C, write in C,

        Write in C, yeah, write in C.

        Don't even mention COBOL.

        Write in C.
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}                                      
        And when the screen is fuzzy,

        And the editor is bugging me.

        I'm sick of ones and zeroes.

        Write in C.
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}                                      
        A thousand people people swear that T.P.

        Seven is the one for me.

        I hate the word PROCEDURE,

        Write in C.
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}                                      
        Write in C, write in C,

        Write in C, yeah, write in C.

        PL1 is 80's,

        Write in C.
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}                                      
        Write in C, write in C,

        Write in C, yeah, write in C.

        The government loves ADA,

        Write in C.
        \end{SBVerse}

  \end{song}

% Added 2001 by Ole Aamot (from http://www.linux.org.uk/~alan/lost-andre.txt)

  \begin{song}
        {Lost Andre}{Unknown}
        {Alan Cox}
        {Motorhead, Lost Johnny}
        {}

        \begin{SBVerse}
         You only a get a single block

         The drives are very plain

         Disconnect is well outside

         The power of its brain

         You can hear it clunking

         You can see it far afar

         Its a pale clone of scsi

         Just a faded I/O star
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
         And out there in the workroom

         They're trying to make it scream

         By sticking queued tags in a flash

         And reprogramming the stream

         Can you find the DMA

         Can you add it soon

         Lost Andre's out there

         Baying at the moon
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
         The time has come for you to choose

         You'd better get it right

         Pulling drives that suck a lot

         Oh please now make them right

         But you want to really get some

         its surely can't be hard

         There's always scsi lurking

         When your servers underpowered
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
         Underneath committees

         The scsi vendors sing

         Of how the IDE, it always hangs

         When someone hacks the thing

         Can you find the disk block

         Can you make the tweak

         Lost Andre's out there

         Looking for a leak
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
         That spec it looks so evil

         And you know it never tries

         And every time they make a hack

         They have to compromise

         And shall I find their CPRM

         In a drive which no one buys

         They make it big in tricks

         At the price of broken drives
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
         And here inside the server room

         The UPS still screams

         And we're shooting disks up

         And returning maxtor things

         Can you find the raid card

         For god's sake make it quick

         Lost Andre's out there

         Trying to make it tick
        \end{SBVerse}

  \end{song}

  
% Added 2001 by Ole Aamot (from http://www.linux.org.uk/~alan/gcc.txt)

  \begin{song}
        {g-c-c}{Unknown}
        {Alan Cox}
        {Childrens rhyme}
        {}

        \begin{SBVerse}
         g-c-c, g-c-c,
         see how it runs, see how it runs, 
         it ran all over the swap device, 
         they freed all its ram with a kill -9, 
         did you ever see such a thrash in your life
         as g-c-c
        \end{SBVerse}

  \end{song}

% Added 2001 by Ole Aamot (from http://www.linux.org.uk/~alan/codecrew.txt)

  \begin{song}
        {We are the code crew}{Unknown}
        {Alan Cox}
        {We are the road crew}{Motorhead}
        {}

       \begin{SBVerse}
        Another bug, another race

        Another oops, another trace

        Another driver I can't face
       \end{SBVerse}

       \begin{SBVerse}
        Reading junk, feeling bad

        Another night going mad

        x-jack drivers are so bad
       \end{SBVerse}

       \begin{SBVerse}
        But I just love the code I read

        Another beer is what I need

        Another bug, my ram is freed

        We are the code crew
       \end{SBVerse}

       \begin{SBVerse}
        Another driver left behind

        Another hack, completely blind

        Another bug that I can't find
       \end{SBVerse}

       \begin{SBVerse}
        Another deadlock fix or two

        Another flaw in our ext2

        Another driver to get through
       \end{SBVerse}

       \begin{SBVerse}
        Coding like a manaic

        Coding gone to hell and back

        Another oops a case to crack

        We are the code crew
       \end{SBVerse}

       \begin{SBVerse}
        Another driver we can learn

        Another flaw, another churn

        Another pile of crap to burn
       \end{SBVerse}

       \begin{SBVerse}
        Another bugcheck on the way

        Another author that I can't flay

        Another word I learned to say
       \end{SBVerse}

       \begin{SBVerse}
        Another bloody bios post

        Another fucking box is toast

        Another set of scars to boast

        We are the code crew
       \end{SBVerse}

  \end{song}

% Added 2001 by Ole Aamot (from http://www.linux.org.uk/~alan/whole_lotta_bad_c.txt)

  \begin{song}
        {Whole Lotta Bad C}{Unknown}
        {Alan Cox}
        {Whole Lotta Rosie AC/DC}
        {}

       \begin{SBVerse}
        I wanna tell you a story, 

        about a bug I know,

        when it comes to crashing, 

        oh it steals the show, 

        it aint exactly pretty, aint exactly small,

        drivers/media/videodev you could say its got them all
       \end{SBVerse}

       \begin{SBVerse}
        Never had a bug, never had a bug like this,

        killing all the things, killing all the things it does, 

        aint no fairy story, aint no kernel moan, 

        but you kdb it all a lot, oopsing on an intel clone
       \end{SBVerse}

       \begin{SBChorus}
        You're a whole lot of program

        A whole lotta program

        Whole lotta bad c

        Ah you're a whole lotta program
       \end{SBChorus}

       \begin{SBVerse}
        Oh hacker you can do it

        Debug for me all night long

        Only one to chase

        Only one to chase it up

        All through the night time

        And right around the clock

        To my suprise

        Oopses never stop
       \end{SBVerse}

       \begin{SBChorus}
        You're a whole lot of program

        A whole lotta program

        Whole lotta bad C 

        Ah you're a whole lotta program
       \end{SBChorus}

  \end{song}

% Added 2001 by Ole Aamot (from http://www.linux.org.uk/~alan/wish_I_could_be.txt)

  \begin{song}
        {I Wish I Could Be Coding Every Day}{Unknown}
        {Alan Cox}
        {Sorry Roy Wood}
        {[Are you ready porters .. ]}

        \begin{SBVerse}
         When the hackers bring the code

         Well they just might like to know

         They've put a great big smile, on somebody's face

         If you boot it on your vax

         quickly coding up the traps

         Don't you lock the bus

         You know that neat debug tools are on the way
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBChorus}
         Well I wish I could be coding, every day

         When the vax starts pinging from the shell upon the cray

         Oh I wish I could be coding, every day

         Let the code flow out from hackers
        \end{SBChorus}

        \begin{SBVerse}
         When we're searching in the code

         For the bug that stops the load 

         Then your config files going to build my linux bin

         Now the booting prompts appear

         And you're loading from a peer

         So we'll stare at the wire

         Till the shell simply loads up all the way
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBChorus}
         Well I wish I could be coding, every day

         When the vax starts pinging from the shell upon the cray

         Oh I wish I could be coding, every day

         Let the code flow out from hackers
        \end{SBChorus}

        \begin{SBVerse}
         When the hackers bring the code (When the hackers bring the code)

         Well they just might like to know (Well they just might like to know)

         They've put a great big smile, on somebody's face (They've put a great big smile, on somebody's face)

         So if Linux boots that shell (So if Linux boots that shell)

         Now running on vaxen well

         I'll sign my name on the kernel in the code

         Then I may decide to play
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBChorus}
         Well I wish I could be coding, every day
         
         When the vax starts pinging from the shell upon the cray

         Oh I wish I could be coding, every day

         Let the code flow out from hackers
        \end{SBChorus}


        [Okay you lot- take it!]

        \begin{SBChorus}
         Well I wish I could be coding, every day (every day)

         When the vax starts pinging from the shell upon the cray (oh oh)

         Oh I wish I could be coding, every day

         Let the code flow out from hackers
        \end{SBChorus}

        \begin{SBVerse}
         Why don't you boot your vax on Linux ?
        \end{SBVerse}

  \end{song}

% Added 2001 by Ole Aamot (from http://www.linux.org.uk/~alan/womble.txt)

  \begin{song}
        {Womble}{Unknown}
        {Unknown}
        {Alan Cox}
        {[Mike Batt gets it this time]}
        {}
        
        \begin{SBVerse}
         Kernel mode, user mode, cvs tree

         The commiters of cvs patches are we, 

         Making good use of the code that we find,

         Things that the community folks have in mind
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
         Miguel deIcaza

         He can remember they days mc wasn't behind the times

         With his view for the world

         Decode the core dumps and blame them on the gnome tree
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
         Coder's aren't organised, work as a team

         Coder's aren't tidy and coders aren't clean

         Kernel mode, user mode, cvs tree

         The commiters of cvs patches are we
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
         People don't notice us, they'll never see

         Under their noises a hacker may be

         We edit by night and we sleep in by day

         Writing up patches to send bugs away
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
         We're so incredibly utterly devious

         Making the most of everything

         Even asm and strings

         Pick up the patches make them into something new

         is what we do!
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
         Kernel mode, user mode, cvs tree

         The commiters of cvs patches are we, 

         Making good use of the code that we find,

         Things that the community folks have in mind
        \end{SBVerse}

  \end{song}

% Added 2001 by Ole Aamot (from http://www.linux.org.uk/~alan/let_there_be_hacks.txt)

  \begin{song}
        {Let there be hacks}{Unknown}
        {Alan Cox}
        {``Let there be rock'', AC/DC}
        {}

        \begin{SBVerse}
         In the beginning

         Back in ninetieen ninety one

         Man didn't know about no linux source code

         And all thats fun

         The dos man had no windows

         The mac man had no tools

         No one knew what they was gonna do

         But the unix hacks had the news, they said
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBChorus}
         Let there be shells, and there were shells

         Let there be perl, and there was perl

         Let there be gnus, and there were gnus

         Let there be emacs, and there was emacs

         Let there be hacks
        \end{SBChorus}

        \begin{SBVerse}
         And so it came to pass

         That linux source code was born

         All across the land every hacking man

         Was coding up a storm

         And the Linus man got famous

         And the business man got rich

         And on every list there was a wannabe

         With a clue free patch

         There was fifteen million fingers

         Learnin' how to code

         And you could hear the keyboard clicking

         And this is what they had to load
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBChorus}
         Let there be shells, perl, gnus, 'n emacs an

         Let there be hacks
        \end{SBChorus}

        \begin{SBVerse}
         One night at a show called OLS

         There was a linux kernel hacking band

         And the hacking was good

         And the hackers were proud

         And then well Linus turned and he said to the crowd
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBChorus}
         Let there be hacks
        \end{SBChorus}

  \end{song}

% Added 2001 by Ole Aamot (from http://www.linux.org.uk/~alan/here_it_is_linux_kernel.txt)

  \begin{song}
        {Here it is linux kernel}{Unknown}
        {Unknown}
        {``Merry X-Mas Everybody'', Slade}
        {}

        \begin{SBVerse}
         Are you posting up a driver there for all

         Its the time that every hacker has a ball

         Does it keep on breaking paging

         Does it run slab poisoned eh ?

         Do the reports keep you coding for the day
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBChorus}
         So here it is, linux-kernel

         Everybody's having fun

         Look for the flaming now

         It's only just begun
        \end{SBChorus}

        \begin{SBVerse}
         Are you waiting for the flamers to arrive

         Are you sure you got the room to keep archives

         Does Al Viro always tell ya 

         That filesystems are the best

         Then he's off and kernel hacking with the rest
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBChorus}
         So here it is, linux-kernel

         Everybody's having fun

         Look for the flaming now

         It's only just begun
        \end{SBChorus}

        \begin{SBVerse}
         What will Jeff Merkey do

         When he sees you now postin' novell support

         Aa-Ah ah-ah
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
         Are you pulling down a kernel when you call

         Are you hoping that the code will start to rule

         Do you walk on down the calltrace

         With a debugger you have made

         When they land up in your driver then you've been blamed
        \end{SBVerse}
 
        \begin{SBChorus}
         So here it is, linux-kernel

         Everybody's having fun

         Look for the flaming now

         It's only just begun
        \end{SBChorus}

        \begin{SBChorus}
         So here it is, linux-kernel

         Everybody's having fun

         Look for the flaming now

         It's only just begun
        \end{SBChorus}

        \begin{SBChorus}
         So here it is, linux-kernel

         Everybody's having fun

         Look for the flaming now

         It's only just begun
        \end{SBChorus}

        \begin{SBChorus}
         So here it is, linux-kernel

         Everybody's having fun

         Look for the flaming now

         It's only just begun
        \end{SBChorus}

  \end{song}

% Added 1999 by Petter Reinholdtsen
  \begin{song}
        {Hardware for nothing}{Unknown}
        {Unknown}
        {``Money for nothing'', Dire straits}
        {}

        \begin{SBVerse}
        Look at them coders

        that's the way you do it

        You chat about hackin'

        on the IRC.

        That ain't workin'

        That's the way you do it.

        Hardware for nothin'

        and your source for free.
        \end{SBVerse}
 
        \begin{SBVerse}
        Now that ain't workin'

        That's the way you do it.

        Lemme tell ya

        them coders ain't dumb.

        Maybe get a blister

        on your typing fingers

        maybe put on a little weight

        around you bum
        \end{SBVerse}
 
        \begin{SBVerse}
        We gotta install operating systems

        Custom kernel Deliveriiiiies.

        We gotta solve these user problems

        We gotta move these pentium Threeeeees
        \end{SBVerse}
 
        \begin{SBVerse}
        I want my

        I want my

        I want my IRC

        ...
        \end{SBVerse}
  \end{song}

% Added 2001 by Ole Aamot
  \begin{song}
        {APL}{Unknown}
        {Richard M. Stallman}
        {This uses the tune of ``Row, row, row your boat''.}
        {}

The Greek letter rho ($\rho$) is an important operator in the APL
programming language.

        \begin{SBVerse}
        $\rho$, $\rho$, $\rho$ of X.

        Always equals 1.

        $\rho$ is dimension; $\rho$ $\rho$, rank.

        APL is fun!
        \end{SBVerse}

  \end{song}

% Added 2001 by Mari Wang
  \begin{song}
        {Something}{Unknown}
        {Unknown}
        {Tune: ``Something'' by The Beatles}
        {}
        {}

        \begin{SBVerse}
        Something in the way it fails,

        Defies the algorithm's logic!

        Something in the way it coredumps...

        I don't want to leave it now

        I'll fix this problem somehow
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
        Somewhere in the memory I know,

        A pointer's got to be corrupted.

        Stepping in the debugger will show me...

        I don't want to leave it now

        Too close to leave it now
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
        You're asking me can this code go?

        I don't know, I don't know...

        What sequence causes it to blow?

        I don't know, I don't know...
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
        Something in the initializing code?

        And all I have to do is think of it!

        Something in the listing will show me...

        I don't want to leave it now

        I'll fix this tonight I vow!
        \end{SBVerse}
  \end{song}

% Added 2001 by Ole Aamot
  \begin{song}
        {Debugging}{Unknown}
        {Richard M. Stallman}
        {This uses the tune of ``Deck the halls with boughs of holly''.}
        {}

rms wrote this in the 1970s, when decks of punched cards and thumping line
printers were still widely used.

        \begin{SBVerse}
        Deck the cards that hold the data.

        (Fa la la la la, la la, la, la.)

        Hand them to the operator.

        (Fa la la la la, la la, la, la.)

        Hear the output printer thumping:

        (Fa la la la la, la la, la, la.)

        50 k of core are dumping.

        (Fa la la la la, la la, la, la.)
        \end{SBVerse}
 
        \begin{SBVerse}  
        Now you have to start debugging,

        (Fa la la la la, la la, la, la.)

        Through the dump for errors culling.

        (Fa la la la la, la la, la, la.)

        If you cannot understand 'em,

        (Fa la la la la, la la, la, la.)

        Just change anything at random.

        (Fa la la la la, la la, la, la.)
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
        When it seems your program's mended,

        (Fa la la la la, la la, la, la.)

        And you think your task has ended,

        (Fa la la la la, la la, la, la.)

        Ware rejoicing prematurely:

        (Fa la la la la, la la, la, la.)

        There will be more errors surely.

        (Fa la la la la, la la, la, la.)
        \end{SBVerse}

  \end{song}

\newpage

% Added 2003 by Ole Aamot (from http://www.gnu.org/fun/jokes/eternal-flame.html)
% A recording is available from http://www.songworm.com/audio/EternalFlame.html

  \begin{song}
        {Eternal Flame}{Bob Kanefsky}
        {Tune: God Lives on Terra by Julia Ecklar}
        {}
        {}
        
        \begin{SBVerse}
          I was taught assembler

          in my second year of school.

          It's kinda like construction work --

          with a toothpick for a tool.

          So when I made my senior year,

          I threw my code away,

          And learned the way to program

          that I still prefer today.
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
          Now, some folks on the Internet

          put their faith in C++.

          They swear that it's so powerful,

          it's what God used for us.

          And maybe it lets mortals dredge

          their objects from the C.

          But I think that explains

          why only God can make a tree.
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
          For God wrote in Lisp code

          When he filled the leaves with green.

          The fractal flowers and recursive roots:

          The most lovely hack I've seen.

          And when I ponder snowflakes,

          never finding two the same,

          I know God likes a language

          with its own four-letter name.
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
          Now, I've used a SUN under Unix,

          so I've seen what C can hold.

          I've surfed for Perls, found what Fortran's for,

          Got that Java stuff down cold.

          Though the chance that I'd write COBOL code

          is a SNOBOL's chance in Hell.

          And I basically hate hieroglyphs,

          so I won't use APL.
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
          Now, God must know all these languages,

          and a few I haven't named.

          But the Lord made sure, when each sparrow falls,

          that its flesh will be reclaimed.

          And the Lord could not count grains of sand

          with a 32-bit word.

          Who knows where we would go to

          if Lisp weren't what he preferred?
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
          And God wrote in Lisp code

          Every creature great and small.

          Don't search the disk drive for man.c,

          When the listing's on the wall.

          And when I watch the lightning burn

          Unbelievers to a crisp,

          I know God had six days to work,

          So he wrote it all in Lisp.
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
          Yes, God had a deadline.

          So he wrote it all in Lisp.
        \end{SBVerse}

  \end{song}

\newpage

% Added 2001 by Petter Reinholdtsen
  \begin{song}
        {The Bug Came Back}{Unknown}
        {Joel Polowin}
        {This uses the tune of ``The Can Came Back'' by Harry S. Miller.}
        {}

        \begin{SBVerse}
        The program wasn't complex, and it wasn't very long,

        Though it seemed a bit erratic, its results were seldom wrong.

        But that little error nagged us, so we stayed up late one night -

        Found a missing comma, and we thought that fixed it right -
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBChorus}
        But the bug came back, the very next day

        The bug came back, we thought it was a gonner

        But the bug came back, it just wouldn't stay away.
        \end{SBChorus}

        \begin{SBVerse}
        We put away our documents, rewrote the code from scratch

        To find out where the new and older versions didn't match.

        A subtle shift of logic showed where we had gone astray;

        We felt a bit embarrassed, but at least it ran okay -
        \end{SBVerse}

        chorus

        \begin{SBVerse}
        We wrote in other languages, from FORTH to APL

        And ev'ry one ran ev'ry time - just sometimes not too well.

        Translation to assembler didn't give us any clue;

        The COBOL version crashed on ev'ry system it went through -
        \end{SBVerse}

        chorus

        \begin{SBVerse}
        We gave it to the hacker squad - the folks who code for fun -

        And asked them if they couldn't get the stupid thing to run.

        But less than one week later, they no longer wished to play -

        Three paranoids... one suicide... and six who ran away...
        \end{SBVerse}

        chorus

        \begin{SBVerse}
        We got a summer student in to check the code by hand,

        With paper, pen and calculator, run through each command,

        But suddenly the lights went out -- the air went thin and queer --

        A sudden FLASH! of lightning -- and the student... disappeared..?
        \end{SBVerse}

        chorus

        \begin{SBVerse}
        We set up an experiment that Schrodinger inspired:

        A box; a cat; some poison; a computer system wired

        Such that IF the program failed, the little moggy would be gassed.

        A quasar was - almost - the only remnant of the blast...
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBChorus}
        But the cat came back the very next day

        The bug came back, we thought they were a gonner

        But they both came back, they just wouldn't stay away
        \end{SBChorus}

  \end{song}

\section*{System administration}

% Added 2000 by Petter Reinholdtsen
  \begin{song}
        {No Backup}{Unknown}
        {Unknown}
        {Lill Berg Nordheim}
        {}

        \begin{SBVerse}
        Yesterday,

        all those backups seemed a waste of pay

        Now my database has gone away

        Oh I believe in yesterday
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
        Suddenly,

        there's not half the files there used to be,

        there's a millstone hanging over me

        The system crashed so suddenly
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
        I pushed something wrong

        What it was I could not say

        Now all my data's gone

        and I long for yesterday-ay-ay-ay
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
        Yesterday,

        the need for backups seemed so far away

        I knew my data was all here to stay

        Now I believe in yesterday
        \end{SBVerse}
  \end{song}

% Added 2001 from Userfriendly 2001-05-27
  \begin{song}
        {She's Always a Goddess}{Unknown}
        {2001 Illiad}
        {Music: ``She's Always a Woman''}
        {}
        {}

        \begin{SBVerse}
        She can {\tt kill -9} with a smile

        As she munches her fries

        She can crack your account

        And delete all your files

        Though she only appeals

        To the shy ones like me

        She can code like a pro

        And she's always a goddess to me
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
        She can root all your boxes

        Faster than you'd believe

        You can ask for an ack

        But you'll never receive

        She'll take code you give her

        As long as it's *free*

        She tinks I'm a dweeb

        But she's always a goddess to me
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
        Ohhhh.  She takes care of her servers

        She can play quake if she wants

        She's ahead of her game

        Ohhhh. She never gets stressed out

        And she never gets caught

        She just passes on blame
        \end{SBVerse}

  \end{song}

\section*{Security}

% Added 2000 by Petter Reinholdtsen
  \begin{song}
        {The ``I got 0wN3d last night'' song}{Unknown}
        {Unknown}
        {Beldon $<$beldon@scamail.com$>$}
        {}

        [Apologies to Sam Cooke (and Art Garfunkel)]

        \begin{SBVerse}
           Don't know much about TCP

           Even less ICMP

           Don't know how to make a subnet class 

           Even script kiddies would kick my ass 

           But if an OS that can be bought 

           Will install securely by default 

           What a wonderful thing that would be 
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
           Don't know much about LAND attack 

           Don't know how to spoof an IP stack 

           Don't know much about the port I'm on 

           Can't decide to leave a daemon on 

           If I install OpenBSD 

           And it does most of my work for me 

           What a wonderful thing that will be 
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
           Now I don't claim to be a sys admin 

           But now broadband's in my town 

           And I have to put something between me 

           And the people who know how to bring me down 
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
           Don't know much about DDoS 

           And my shell programming is a mess 

           Don't know how to build a firewall 

           Don't know much about nothin' at all 

           But if I can shield my root account 

           Without emptying my bank account 

           What a wonderful thing that would be.
        \end{SBVerse}
  \end{song}

\section*{Misc}

% Added 2001 by Ole Aamot (from http://www.linux.org.uk/~alan/webdesigner_song.txt)

  \begin{song}
        {The webdesigner song}{Unknown}
        {Alan Cox}
        {Chicken song}{Grant Naylor}
        {}

        \begin{SBVerse}
         Its the time of year, now that .coms are in the air

         When those new web gifts, have become internet aware

         Make another link for moronic web displays

         That nauseate-ate-ate in a million different ways
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
         From the depth of spain to the southern coast of france

         No matter where you hide, you just can't escape our spams
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBChorus}
         Rack a compaq in mid-air, stick a penguin on your nodes

         Buy from microsoft and then debug all their code

         Make your old code free then upload your latest tree

         Write the web content and install your asp
        \end{SBChorus}

        \begin{SBVerse}
         Soon your sites alive, learn to stream realvideo

         Climb over a mac, and encode in indeo

         Eat a new cookie while your business disappears

         Redesign your plan, drink lots and lots of beers
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
         The web page is vibrating, the colour is loud and grating

         Its truely nauseating, lets use that blink again
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBChorus}
         Rack a compaq in mid-air, stick a penguin on your nodes

         Buy from microsoft and then debug all their code

         And there's no escape, in the news or in the star

         You would see this site if you holidayed on mars
        \end{SBChorus}

        \begin{SBVerse}
         Soon your sites alive, learn to stream realvideo

         Climb over a mac, and encode in indeo

         Now you've done it once, you brain will spring a leak

         And through you hate your site, you'll be tweaking it for weeks
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBChorus}
         Rack a compaq in mid-air, stick a penguin on your nodes

         Buy from microsoft and then debug all their code

         Make your old code free then upload your latest tree

         Write the web content and install your php
        \end{SBChorus}

  \end{song}
  
% Added 2000 by Petter Reinholdtsen
  \begin{song}
        {Got Them Dot Zero Blues}{Unknown}
        {Unknown}
        {by WillSeattle / Will in Seattle (at work)}
        {}

        \begin{SBVerse}
         Woke up this morning

         Crawled out of bed 

         Couldn't wait to get that Red Hat distro you said 
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
         Told you to worry 

         Told you to wait 

         But no you want to mirror it from outside the state 
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBChorus}
         I got the blues 

         Got them old dot zero blues 

         Cause I done installed that distro 

         And it blew up on my shoes 
        \end{SBChorus}

        \begin{SBVerse}
         Wish I had DSL 

         Wish I had fat pipes 

         But on a 56K modem 

         The download's such a fright 
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
         It's all installed now 

         Servers up and cool 

         But I come back three weeks later 

         And look just like a fool 
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
         Got burned by Compaq 

         Got burned by Dell 

         Got burned by Microsoft 

         Now I'm in Red Hat dot zero hell 
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
         Now don't you worry 

         This one's ok 

         It won't drop under loads now 

         Cause if it does we'll make you pay! 
        \end{SBVerse}

  \end{song}

% Added 2001 by Ole Aamot - from http://www.linux.org.uk/~alan/ogg.txt

  \begin{song}
       {My ogg files}{Unknown}
       {Alan Cox}
       {To the tune of ``My Bonnie''}
       {}

       \begin{SBVerse}
        My ogg files lie over the network

        My ogg files lie over T3

        My ogg files lie over the network

        please icecast my ogg files to me
       \end{SBVerse}

       \begin{SBChorus}
        Icecast

        Icecast

        Oh icecast my ogg files to me to me

        Icecast

        Icecast

        Icecast my ogg files to me
       \end{SBChorus}

  \end{song}

% Added 2001 by Petter Reinholdtsen
  \begin{song}
        {What a wonderful world}{Unknown}
        {Unknown}
        {Sung to ``What a wonderful world'' by Lous Armstrong}
        {}
        {}

        \begin{SBVerse}
        I see cheap cpus

        and software that's great

        and my modem connects...

        at true 28.2

        and I think to myself...

        ...what a wonderful world...
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
        I see people on the net..

        who are nice and not "leet"

        and hardware that never...

        becomes obsolete

        and I think to myself...

        ... what a wonderful world...
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
        The colours of the iMac...

        so pretty on my desk

        (these are colors that are testful

        not ones that are grotesque)

        I see routers shakin' hands

        sayin' "who the heck are you?"

        but they're really saying

        "let the data flow through"
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
        Blue screens of death...

        don't exist to betray

        and I decide for myself...

        where I want to go today

        and I think to myself

        what a wonderful world

        yes. I think to my self

        what a wonderful world...
        \end{SBVerse}

  \end{song}

\newpage

% Added 2001 from
% http://www.netspace.org/~dmacks/internet-songbook/10-little-spammers.html
  \begin{song}
        {10 Little Spammers}{Unknown}
        {William A. Levinson}
        {Words: William A. Levinson}
        {}
        {}

        \begin{SBVerse}
        Ten little spammers all went online;

        One spammed n.a.n.a. and then there were nine.
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
        Nine little spamhauses spewed at full rate;

        An ISP nuked one and then there were eight.
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
        Eight little spammers thought they were in Heaven;

        Someone did a traceroute and then there were seven.
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
        Seven little spambots addresses did pick;

        One picked a Netscum and then there were six.
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
        Six little spammers playing 'round a hive;

        Angry wasps stung one and then there were five.
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
        Five little spammers spewed some more;

        Someone did an InterNIC whois, and then there were four.
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
        Four little spammers all running free;

        Cloaking didn't work and then there were three.
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
        Three little spammers, didn't have a clue;

        One spewed to Usenet and then there were two.
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
        Two little spammers, thought they'd have some fun;

        Antispammers caught one and then there was one.
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
        One little spammer was firewalled and left all alone;

        He could only spam himself and then there were none.
        \end{SBVerse}

  \end{song}

\newpage

% Added 2001 by Mari Wang
  \begin{song}
        {Berkeley California}{Unknown}
        {David Barr , Ken Hornstein, Greg Nagy}
        {Tune is ``Hotel California'' by the Eagles}
        {}
        {}

Written by David Barr and Ken Hornstein and a little help from Greg Nagy.

This is original, written in light of the AT\&T-BSDI lawsuit, and the
recent trend with Sun towards System V and away from Good Ol' BSD.
 
 
        \begin{SBVerse}
        In a dark dim machine room

        Cool A/C in my hair

        Warm smell of silicon

        Rising up through the air

        Up ahead in the distance

        I saw a Solarian(tm) light

        My kernel grew heavy, and my disk grew slim

        I had to halt(8) for the night

        The backup spun in the tape drive

        I heard a terminal bell

        And I was thinking to myself

        This could be BSD or USL

        Then they started a lawsuit

        And they showed me the way

        There were salesmen down the corridor

        I thought I heard them say
        \end{SBVerse}
 
        \begin{SBChorus}
        Welcome to Berkeley California

        Such a lovely place

        Such a lovely place (backgrounded)

        Such a lovely trace(1)

        Plenty of jobs at Berkeley California

        Any time of year

        Any time of year (backgrounded)

        You can find one here

        You can find one here
        \end{SBChorus}

        \begin{SBVerse}
        Their code was definately twisted

        But they've got the stock market trends

        They've got a lot of pretty, pretty lawyers

        That they call friends

        How they dance in the courtroom

        See BSDI sweat

        Some sue to remember

        Some sue to forget

        So I called up Kernighan

        Please bring me ctime(3)

        He said

        We haven't had that tm\_year since 1969

        And still those functions are calling from far away

        Wake up Jobs in the middle of the night

        Just to hear them say
        \end{SBVerse}
 
        \begin{SBChorus}
        Welcome to Berkeley California

        Such a lovely Place

        Such a lovely Place (backgrounded)

        Such a lovely trace(1)

        They're livin' it up suing Berkeley California

        What a nice surprise

        What a nice surprise (backgrounded)

        Bring your alibies
        \end{SBChorus}
 
        \begin{SBVerse}
        Windows NT a dreaming

        Pink OS on ice

        And they said

        We are all just prisoners here

        Of a marketing device

        And in the judges's chambers

        They gathered for the feast

        They diff(1)'d the source code listings

        But they can't kill -9 the beast

        Last thing I remember

        I was restore(8)'ing | more(1)

        I had to find the soft link back to the path I was before

        sleep(3) said the pagedaemon

        We are programmed to recv(2)

        You can swap out any time you like

        But you can never leave(1)
        \end{SBVerse}
 
        [ substitute whirring of disk and 
          tape drives for guitar solo ]
 

  \end{song}

% Added 2001 by Mari Wang
  \begin{song}
        {Unix Man}{Unknown}
        {Unknown}
        {Tune: Nowhere Man}
        {}
        {}

        \begin{SBVerse}
        He's a real UNIX Man

        Sitting in his UNIX LAN

        Making all his UNIX plans

        For nobody.
        \end{SBVerse}
        
        \begin{SBVerse}
        Knows the blocksize from du(1)

        Cares not where /dev/null goes to

        Isn't he a bit like you

        And me?
        \end{SBVerse}
        
        \begin{SBVerse}
        UNIX Man, please listen(2)

        My lpd(8) is missin'

        UNIX Man

        The wo-o-o-orld is at(1) your command.
        \end{SBVerse}
        
        \begin{SBVerse}
        He's as wise as he can be

        Uses lex and yacc and C

        UNIX Man, can you help me At all?
        \end{SBVerse}
        
        \begin{SBVerse}
        UNIX Man, don't worry

        Test with time(1), don't hurry

        UNIX Man

        The new kernel boots, just like you had planned.
        \end{SBVerse}
        
        \begin{SBVerse}
        He's a real UNIX Man

        Sitting in his UNIX LAN

        Making all his UNIX  plans For nobody ...

        Making all his UNIX  plans For nobody.
        \end{SBVerse}
  \end{song}


% Added 2001 by Mari Wang
  \begin{song}
        {Eleanor Rigby}{Unknown}
        {Unknown}
        {Tune: ``Elinor Rigby'' by The Beatles}
        {}
        {}

        \begin{SBVerse}
        Eleanor Rigby

        Sits at the keyboard

        And waits for a line on the screen

        Lives in a dream

        Waits for a signal

        Finding some code

        That will make the machine do some more.

        What is it for?
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBChorus}
        All the lonely users, where do they all come from?

        All the lonely users, why does it take so long?
        \end{SBChorus}

        \begin{SBVerse}
        Guru MacKenzie

        Typing the lines of a program that no one will run;

        Isn't it fun?

        Look at him working,

        Munching some chips as he waits for the code to compile;

        It takes  a while...
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBChorus}
        All the lonely users, where do they all come from?

        All the lonely users, why does it take so long?
        \end{SBChorus}

        \begin{SBVerse}
        Eleanor Rigby

        Crashes the system and loses 6 hours of work;

        Feels like a jerk.

        Guru MacKenzie

        Wiping the crumbs off the keys as he types in the code;

        Nothing will load.
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBChorus}
        All the lonely users, where do they all come from?

        All the lonely users, why does it take so long?
        \end{SBChorus}
  \end{song}

% Added 2001 by Mari Wang
  \begin{song}
        {The Day SunOS Died}{Unknown}
        {Unknown}
        {Words: N.R. ``Norm'' Lunde, with apologies to Don McLean}
        {}
        {}

        \begin{SBVerse}
        Remember when those guys out West

        With their longish hair and paisley vests

        Were starting up, straight out of UCB?
        \end{SBVerse}
 
        \begin{SBVerse}
        They used those Motorola chips

        Which at the time were really hip

        And looked upon the world through VME.
        \end{SBVerse}
 
        \begin{SBVerse}
        Their first attempt ran like a pig

        But is was the start of something big;

        They called the next one the Sun-2

        And though they only sold a few

        It soon gave birth unto the new

        Sun-3 which was their pride

        And now they're singing
        \end{SBVerse}
 
        \begin{SBChorus}
        ``Bye, bye, SunOS 4.1.3!

        ATT System V has replaced BSD.

        You can cling to the standards of the industry

        But only if you pay the right fee --

        Only if you pay the right fee...''
        \end{SBChorus}
 
        \begin{SBVerse}
        The hardware wasn't all they sold.

        Their Berkeley port was solid gold

        And interfaced with system V, no less!
        \end{SBVerse}
 
        \begin{SBVerse}
        They implemented all the stuff

        That Berkeley thought would be enough

        Then added RPC and NFS.
        \end{SBVerse}
 
        \begin{SBVerse}
        It was a lot of code to cram

        Into just four megs of RAM.

        The later revs were really cool

        With added values like SunTools

        But then they took us all for fools

        By peddling Solaris...

        And they were singing,
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBChorus}
        ``Bye, bye, SunOS 4.1.3!

        ATT System V has replaced BSD.

        You can cling to the standards of the industry

        But only if you pay the right fee --

        Only if you pay the right fee...''
        \end{SBChorus}
 
        \begin{SBVerse}
        They took a RISC and kindled SPARC.

        The difference was like light and dark.

        The Sun-4s were the fastest and the best.
        \end{SBVerse}
 
        \begin{SBVerse}
        The user base was having fun

        Installing SunOS 4.1

        But what was coming no one could have guessed.
        \end{SBVerse}
 
        \begin{SBVerse}
        The installed base was sound.

        The software did abound.

        While all the hackers laughed and played

        Already plans were being made

        To make the dubious ``upgrade''

        To Sun's new Solaris...

        And Sun was singing,
        \end{SBVerse}
 
        \begin{SBChorus}
        ``Bye, bye, SunOS 4.1.3!

        ATT System V has replaced BSD.

        You can cling to the standards of the industry

        But only if you pay the right fee --

        Only if you pay the right fee...''
        \end{SBChorus}
 
        \begin{SBVerse}
        The cartridge tapes were first to go

        And CDROM's a must, you know

        And floppy drives will soon go out the door.
        \end{SBVerse}
 
        \begin{SBVerse}
        I tried to call and ask them why

        But they took away my tty

        and left my modem lying on the floor.
        \end{SBVerse}
 
        \begin{SBVerse}
        While they were on a roll

        They moved the damned control.

        The Ethernet's now twisted pair.

        Which no one uses anywhere.

        ISDN is still more rare--

        The bandwidth's even less!

        But still they're singing
        \end{SBVerse}
 
        \begin{SBChorus}
        ``Bye, bye, SunOS 4.1.3!

        ATT System V has replaced BSD.

        You can cling to the standards of the industry

        But only if you pay the right fee --

        Only if you pay the right fee...''
        \end{SBChorus}
 
        \begin{SBVerse}
        The worst of all is what they've done

        To software that we used to run

        Like dbx and even /bin/cc.
        \end{SBVerse}
 
        \begin{SBVerse}
        Compilers now have license locks

        Wrapped up in OpenWindows crocks

        We even have to pay for gcc!
        \end{SBVerse}
         
        \begin{SBVerse}
        The applications broke;

        /usr/local went up in smoke.

        The features we've depended on

        Before too long will all be gone

        But Sun, I'm sure, will carry on

        Be peddling Solaris,

        Forever singing,
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBChorus}
        ``Bye, bye, SunOS 4.1.3!

        ATT System V has replaced BSD.

        You can cling to the standards of the industry

        But only if you pay the right fee --

        Only if you pay the right fee...''
        \end{SBChorus}
  \end{song}

% Added 2001 by Ole Aamot
  \begin{song}
        {Boot It!}{Unknown}
        {Richard M. Stallman}
        {This filk uses the tune of ``Beat it''.}
        {}

        \begin{SBVerse}
        When your computer doesn't do what you type,

        And half the screen is covered with a big white stripe,

        The vendor won't pay any mind to your gripe,

        So boot it. Just boot it.
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse} 
        When you discover that a process won't die,

        If kill -9 won't work there's nothing else to try.

        Your jobs are dead meat, so kiss 'em goodbye

        And boot it. 50 hours of work,

        Just boot it, boot it.

        And if you can't boot it, shoot it!
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
        When you reboot it, work will be lost.

        It doesn't matter what this will cost.

        Just boot it. Just boot it.

        Just boot it. Just boot it.
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse} 
        When all the characters are coming out weird,

        And won't come back right even when the screen is cleared.

        You can't fix such things by tugging your beard

        So boot it. Just boot it.
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
        If your computer still is running Windows,

        And every time it crashes your frustration grows.

        When the system's not free, you will always be hosed.

        Just boot it. Put a GNU system on,

        And boot it, boot it.

        Or put it in your horn, and toot it!
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
        It doesn't matter what was to blame.

        Till you reboot it, your machine's lame.

        Just boot it. Just boot it.

        Just boot it. Just boot it.
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse} 
        It doesn't matter what you did wrong.

        Till you reboot it, your machine's gone.

        Just boot it. Just boot it.

        Just boot it. Just boot it.
        \end{SBVerse}

  \end{song}

% Added 2001 by Morten A. Middelthon (from 
% http://www.tricknology.org/fun/txt/singsinghalt.txt and 
% http://www.usenix.org/events/lisa99/y2k.html)

  \begin{song}
        {The C Days of Y2K}{Unknown}
        {Unknown}
        {as performed at LISA 1999 / Seattle, Washington}
        {}
        {}

        \begin{SBVerse}
        On the first day of Y2K, my server said to me:
  
        It's January, 1970.
        \end{SBVerse}
    
        \begin{SBVerse}
        On the second day of Y2K, my server said to me:
  
        /var is full, and it's January, 1970.
        \end{SBVerse}
    
        \begin{SBVerse}
        On the third day of Y2K, my server said to me:
  
        stale file handle, /var is full, and it's January, 1970.
        \end{SBVerse}
    
        \begin{SBVerse}
        On the fourth day of Y2K, my server said to me:
  
        hme is down, stale file handle, /var is full, and it's
        January, 1970.
        \end{SBVerse}
    
        \begin{SBVerse}
        On the fifth day of Y2K, my server said to me:
  
        no route to host... hme is down, stale file handle, /var is
        full, and it's January, 1970.
        \end{SBVerse}
    
        \begin{SBVerse}
        On the sixth day of Y2K, my server said to me:
  
        bad magic number, no route to host... hme is down, stale file
        handle, /var is full, and it's January, 1970.
        \end{SBVerse}
    
        \begin{SBVerse}
        On the seventh day of Y2K, my server said to me:
  
        can't open socket, bad magic number, no route to host... hme
        is down, stale file handle, /var is full, and it's January,
        1970.
        \end{SBVerse}
    
        \begin{SBVerse}
        On the eighth day of Y2K, my server said to me:
  
        panic! double panic!, can't open socket, bad magic number, no
        route to host... hme is down, stale file handle, /var is full,
        and it's January, 1970.
        \end{SBVerse}
    
        \begin{SBVerse}
        On the ninth day of Y2K, my server said to me:
  
        can't fork process, panic! double panic!, can't open socket,
        bad magic number, no route to host... hme is down, stale file
        handle, /var is full, and it's January, 1970.
        \end{SBVerse}
    
        \begin{SBVerse}
        On the A day of Y2K, my server said to me:
  
        out of ttys, can't fork process, panic! double panic!, can't
        open socket, bad magic number, no route to host... hme is
        down, stale file handle, /var is full, and it's January, 1970.
        \end{SBVerse}
    
        \begin{SBVerse}
        On the B day of Y2K, my server said to me:
  
        enter system password, out of ttys, can't fork process, panic!
        double panic!, can't open socket, bad magic number, no route
        to host... hme is down, stale file handle, /var is full, and
        it's January, 1970.
        \end{SBVerse}
    
        \begin{SBVerse}
        On the C day of Y2K, my server said to me:
  
        ok
    
        enter system password, out of ttys, can't fork process, panic!
        double panic!, can't open socket, bad magic number, no route
        to host... hme is down, stale file handle, /var is full, and
        it's January, 1970.
        \end{SBVerse}

  \end{song}

% Added 2001 by Stein Vraale (from 
% http://brain.terminator.net/doctordata/doctordata.txt)

  \begin{song}
        {What if Dr. Seuss wrote technical manuals?}{Unknown}
        {Unknown}
        {Words: Unknown}
        {}
        {}

        \begin{SBVerse}
        If a packet hit a pocket on a socket on a port,

        And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,

        And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,

        Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.       
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
        If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,

        And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,

        Then your situation's hopeless,

        and your system's gonna crash.
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
        If the label on the cable on the table at your house,

        Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,

        But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,

        That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall.
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
        If your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,

        so your icons in the window are a wavy as a souse,

        then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,

        Cause sure as I'm the poet, the sucker's gonna hang.
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
        If the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,

        And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risk,

        Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM,

        Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your MOM.
        \end{SBVerse}

  \end{song}


% Added 2003 by Petter Reinholdtsen, from the NUCCC 2003 song book
  \begin{song}
        {The GNU Imagine}{Unknown}
        {Unknown}
        {Words: Unknown}
        {}
        {}

        \begin{SBVerse}
          Imagine there're no firms, it's easy if you try

          No Windows around us, above us only sky

          Imagine all the people coding for today, ah-ah
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBVerse}
          Imagine there's no money, it isn't hard to do

          Nothing to hide or lie for, and no copyright too

          Imagine all the people coding code in peace, you-oo
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBChorus}
          You may say I'm a hacker

          But I'm not the only one

          I hope someday you'll join us

          And the world will code as one
        \end{SBChorus}

        \begin{SBVerse}
          Imagine no possessions, I wonder if you can

          No lack for hardware, a brotherhood of man

          Imagine all the people sharing all the sources, you-oo
        \end{SBVerse}

        \begin{SBChorus}
          You may say I'm a hacker

          But I'm not the only one

          I hope someday you'll join us

          And the world will code as one
        \end{SBChorus}

  \end{song}


% Added 2003 by Petter Reinholdtsen, from the NUCCC 2003 song book
  \begin{song}
       {It is free}{Unknown}
       {Unknown}
       {Music: ``Let it Be'', The Beatles}
       {}
       {}

       \begin{SBVerse}
         When I find myself in front of Windows,

         Father Torvalds comes to me,

         Speaking words of Linux, 'It is free!'.

         And when hackers crack my system

         through some strange NT obscurity,

         he gives me the source-code, 'It is free!'.
       \end{SBVerse}

       \begin{SBChorus}
         It is free, it is free, it is free, it is free.

         Linux is the answer, and it's free.
       \end{SBChorus}

       \begin{SBVerse}
         When the broken systems crashes

         and blue screens of death I see.

         There is one true rescue, and it's free.

         For though there may be doubts first

         it will sure bring life to your PC

         'Cause Linux is the answer, and it is free.
       \end{SBVerse}

       \begin{SBChorus}
         It is free, it is free, it is free, it is free.

         You even get the source-code, it is free.
       \end{SBChorus}

       \begin{SBVerse}
         In the darkest night, when hacking,

         Xfree stares right back at me,

         Now I've installed Linux, I feel free.

         No longer mad with my computer,

         No more does it crash on me

         Now I've installed Linux, it is free.
       \end{SBVerse}

       \begin{SBChorus}
         It is free, it is free, it is free, it is free.

         Open-sourced true power, it is free.
       \end{SBChorus}

  \end{song}



% Added 2003 by Petter Reinholdtsen, from the NUCCC 2003 song book
  \begin{song}
       {I/O}{Unknown}
       {}
       {Music: ``Hi Ho'' by the seven dwarves}
       {}
       {}

       \begin{SBVerse}
         I/O, I/O,

         We watch the data flow,

         We never know where it will go,

         I/O, I/O, I/O,
       \end{SBVerse}

       \begin{SBVerse}
         ... To IBM we go.

         Command reject and then recheck, ...
       \end{SBVerse}

       \begin{SBVerse}
         ... This teletype's too slow.

         If you need more speed, get a CRT ...
       \end{SBVerse}

       \begin{SBVerse}
         ... it's fun to hack, you know.

         It's nice to be, under DDT ...
       \end{SBVerse}

       \begin{SBVerse}
         ... It's off the bus we go.

         No better place than an interface ...
       \end{SBVerse}

       \begin{SBVerse}
         ... To hack the VAX we go.

         We'll first dump core, and then run more ...
       \end{SBVerse}

       \begin{SBVerse}
         ... To hack the VAX we go.

         We use EMACS, since we're true hacks ...
       \end{SBVerse}

       \begin{SBVerse}
         ... To hack the VAX we go.

         We run cc, Then adb ...
       \end{SBVerse}

       \begin{SBVerse}
         .. To hack the VAX we go.

         We eat our lunch, ss programs munch ..
       \end{SBVerse}

       \begin{SBVerse}
         .. To hack the VAX we go.

         Programs we try, then run vi ..
       \end{SBVerse}

       \begin{SBVerse}
         ... To hack the VAX we go.

         Lets adb UUCP ...
       \end{SBVerse}

       \begin{SBVerse}
         ... To hack the VAX we go.

         We'll patch the stack, and then jump back ...
       \end{SBVerse}

       \begin{SBVerse}
         ... To hack the VAX we go.

         We'll have a Coke, and trap alloc() ...
       \end{SBVerse}

       \begin{SBVerse}
         ... To hack the VAX we go.

         We'll user-load new microcode ...
       \end{SBVerse}

       \begin{SBVerse}
         ... To hack the VAX we go.

         This code's a kludge, its much too huge ...
       \end{SBVerse}

       \begin{SBVerse}
         ... To hack the VAX we go.

         Kill peon's procs, they're eating ops ...
       \end{SBVerse}

       \begin{SBVerse}
         ... To hack the VAX we go.

         I/O, I/O!
       \end{SBVerse}

  \end{song}


% Added 2003 by Petter Reinholdtsen, from the NUCCC 2003 song book
  \begin{song}
       {Not a boolean}{Unknown}
       {Unknown}
       {Music: ``Blowing in the wind''}
       {}
       {}

       \begin{SBVerse}
         How many code must a man type in

         Before you can call him a man?

         How many C must a compiler process

         Before it can sleep in the RAM?

         How many times must MS-DOS crash

         Before it is forever banned?
       \end{SBVerse}

       \begin{SBChorus}
         The answer, my friend

         is not a boolean

         The answer is not a boolean
       \end{SBChorus}

       \begin{SBVerse}
         How many times must a man read his source

         Before he can see what is wrong?

         How many memory must his system have

         Before he can use 'unsigned long'?

         How many errors will it take till he knows

         That there's still some work to be done?
       \end{SBVerse}

       chorus

       \begin{SBVerse}
         How many years can a program exist

         Before it's erased from drive C:$\backslash$ ?

         How many years must known bugs exist

         Before you get an update for free?

         How many times can a drive move its head

         And pretend there's no data to read?
       \end{SBVerse}

       chorus

  \end{song}


% Added 2003 by Petter Reinholdtsen, after a lead from Vegar Engen.
% Copied from <URL:http://vegard.engen.priv.no/pekersang.txt>
  \begin{song}
       {Nodepekerlistevisa for Pascal}{Unknown}
       {Geir Sporaland}
       {Words: Geir Sporaland,
         Music: ``Pepperkakebakevisa'' av Torbjørn Egner}
       {}
       {}

       \begin{SBVerse}

         Når en listepekernode

         peker bort, så peker hodet

         på en port som peker videre hvis lærer'n får det til.

         Og mens snørr og tårer renner

         og lærer'n skjærer tenner

         tar han frem en neve pekere og sender dem til Nil.

         [Nil er det samme som ingenting]

         [Lærer: Ja, jeg veit det!]
       \end{SBVerse}

       \begin{SBVerse}
         Og mens pekerne blir flere,

         og vi strever mer og mere,

         og q$\wedge$.neste$\wedge$.forrige$\wedge$.neste$\wedge$.node hopper over p

         tryller lærer'n frem en node

         med et firedobbelt hode [et firedobbelt hode?]

         og så rører han alt sammen ned i roten på et tre.

         [Et tre er det samme som en binær liste]

         [Lærer: Jøss, det visste jeg ikke!]
       \end{SBVerse}

       \begin{SBVerse}
         Og med listehodets neste

         er det første vi må teste

         om den største postens nodepekerliste er blitt full.

         Men så skjærer seg det meste,

         det kan hende selv den beste,

         at maskinen løper løpsk og hele greia blir no' tull.

         [Og lærer'n er et null]
       \end{SBVerse}

       \begin{SBVerse}
         Peker k og peker l

         forsvinner begge med et smell

         idet vår datalærer kaster dem i gulvet med et brak.

         Og da gjenstår kun en liste-

         peker$\wedge$.nodepeker$\wedge$.siste,

         og den stabler vi omhyggelig på toppen av en stakk.

         [En stakk er det samme som en stabel.]

         [Lærer: Ja, en stabel tallerkner pleier nå jeg  si]
       \end{SBVerse}

  \end{song}

\newpage

% Added 2003 by Ole Aamot
 \begin{song}
      {Addicted To vi}{Unknown}
      {Tune: Unknown, with apologies to Robert Palmer}
      {}
      {}

       \begin{SBVerse}
         You press the keys with no effect,

         Your mode is not correct.

         The screen blurs, your fingers shake;

         You forgot to press escape.

         Can't insert, can't delete,

         Cursor keys won't repeat.

         You try to quit, but can't leave,

         An extra ``bang'' is all you need.
       \end{SBVerse}

       \begin{SBChorus}
         You think it's neat to type an ``a'' or an ``i''--

         Oh yeah?

         You won't look at emacs, no you'd just rather die

         You know you're gonna have to face it;

         You're addicted to vi!
       \end{SBChorus}

       \begin{SBVerse}
         You edit files one at a time;

         That doesn't seem too out of line?

         You don't think of keys to bind--

         A meta key would blow your mind.

         H, J, K, L? You're not annoyed?

         Expressions must be a Joy!

         Just press ``f'', or is it ``t''?

         Maybe ``n'', or just ``g''?
       \end{SBVerse}

       \begin{SBChorus}
         Oh--You think it's neat to type an ``a'' or an ``i''--

         Oh yeah?

         You won't look at emacs, no you'd just rather die

         You know you're gonna have to face it;

         You're addicted to vi!

         Might as well face it,

         You're addicted to vi!
       \end{SBChorus}

       \begin{SBVerse}
         You press the keys without effect,

         Your life is now a wreck.

         What a waste! Such a shame!

         And all you have is vi to blame.
       \end{SBVerse}

       \begin{SBChorus}
         Oh--You think it's neat to type an ``a'' or an ``i''--

         Oh yeah?

         You won't look at emacs, no you'd just rather die

         You know you're gonna have to face it;

         You're addicted to vi!

         Might as well face it,

         You're addicted to vi!
       \end{SBChorus}

 \end{song}

% Added 2001 by Mari Wang
%  \begin{song}
%       {10 Little Spammers}{Unknown}
%       {William A. Levinson}
%       {Words: William A. Levinson}
%       {}
%       {}
%
%       \begin{SBVerse}
%       \end{SBVerse}

%       \begin{SBChorus}
%       \end{SBChorus}
%  \end{song}

  \ifWordBk
    \onecolumn
  \fi

\section*{Email addresses}

\begin{tabular}{ll}
David Barr              & $<$barr@pop.psu.edu$>$ \\
Alan Cox                & $<$alan.cox@linux.org$>$ \\
Ken Hornstein           & $<$kenh@physci.psu.edu$>$ \\
William A. Levinson     & $<$wlevinso@ix.NOSPAMnetcom.com$>$ \\
Morten A . Middelthon   & $<$morten@freenix.no$>$ \\
Greg Nagy               & $<$nagy@cs.psu.edu$>$ \\
Lill Berg Nordheim      & $<$news@littlemy.net$>$ \\
Richard M. Stallman     & $<$rms@gnu.org$>$ \\
Stein Vraale            & $<$stein@terminator.net$>$ \\
Jørgen Wahlberg         & $<$jw@anakon.no$>$ \\
Mari Wang               & $<$mariw@acm.org$>$ \\
Ole Aamot               & $<$oka@student.matnat.uio.no$>$
\end{tabular}

\end{document}





